Romeo and Juliet Live, Have Children, And Bicker About Laundry

{Originally posted on Goody Bastos}

Juliet: I thought you were going to take out the trash.

Romeo: It’s your turn for the trash, my week to bag the recyclables. Look at the chore wheel on the fridge, for Chrissakes.

Little Tybalt (looking up from his Legos): Mommy, Daddy swore!

Romeo: A greater power than we can contradict hath thwarted our intents to be the best husband and father, I’m sorry, Little Tybalt. It’s just that Mommy and Daddy have been through a lot.

Juliet: I’ll say. There was a plague on both our houses.

Little Tybalt: Hunh? What’s Mom talking about?

Juliet: Never mind. Why don’t you go play Wii?
(Little Tybalt takes his Legos and sulks off)

Juliet (reminiscing while drying the Ikea china): Remember how in love we were?

Romeo: Do I! It seemed to me you were a rich jewel upon the cheek of night.

Juliet: It seemed to me that parting was such sweet sorrow, and now I can’t wait for girl’s night out.

Romeo (slapping his palm to his forehead): O woe!

Juliet: What is it, honey?

Romeo: I forgot to take out the clothes from the washer. They’ll be all mildewy.

Juliet: Again? Didn’t I tell you not to forget to take them out of the washer? Little Tybalt’s gym clothes were in there and he needs them for gymnastics tomorrow. O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day that ever, ever I did yet behold O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this. O woeful day! O woeful day!

Romeo: Is there no pity sitting in the clouds that sees into the bottom of my grief? I’ll rewash them.

Juliet (collecting herself): Good. I’m going to go upstairs and read. You coming up?

Romeo: No, I’m going to watch ESPN and probably fall asleep on the couch.

Juliet: Oh.

Romeo: Yeah.

Juliet: Well then, goodnight, hon. (Romeo gives her a chaste, long-married peck on the cheek. She returns the affection with a non-lingering rather limp hug.)

Romeo: We’re so lucky.

Juliet: Aren’t we?

CURTAIN

# # #
Featured by Story Editor Shannon | @MrLady#

Elizabeth Bastos has been absolutely brilliant at Goody Bastos since November of 2009. Read her original post here.
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20 Comments to “Romeo and Juliet Live, Have Children, And Bicker About Laundry”

  1. Brava! This was wonderful!
    Amy @ Never-True Tales recently posted..17th Avenue

  2. Brilliant.
    Alex@LateEnough recently posted..Butt-less Forks

  3. SheSuggests says:

    RT @nevertruetales: Fun read @StoryBleed by @ElizabethBastos: If Romeo and Juliet had lived…to argue about laundry http://ow.ly/44Ztz

  4. This Blogger says:

    RT @nevertruetales: Fun read @StoryBleed by @ElizabethBastos: If Romeo and Juliet had lived…to argue about laundry http://ow.ly/44Ztz

  5. Craig says:

    O! These words doth teach the torches to burn bright. Didst my heart know literary prowess till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw it till this night.”

    How silver-sweet sound these words burn bright. Like softest music to attending ears! But alas, night’s candles are burnt out, and jocund day stands tiptoe on the misty mountain-tops. I must away.

    Brava!!! :)

  6. Mr Lady
    Twitter:
    says:

    My god, woman, you are so totally like my favoritest thing ever. ::flips hair over shoulder::

    Thank you SO MUCH for letting us share this!

  7. Shakespearean tragedy as you have never heard ?? RT @playgroupie Laundry with Romeo and Juliet by @eliizabethbastos. http://ht.ly/44Ize

  8. Laundry with a Romeo and Juliet twist from @elizabethbastos. Sounds romantic, doesn't it? http://ht.ly/45fsq

  9. Mr Lady says:

    One of the reasons I am head over heels in love with the internet is @ElizabethBastos and she's on @StoryBleed today: http://bit.ly/dUpMLe

  10. JennaFarelyn says:

    RT @mrlady: One of the reasons Im head over heels in love w/ the internet @ElizabethBastos she's on @StoryBleed today: http://bit.ly/dUpMLe

  11. RT @mrlady: One of the reasons Im head over heels in love w/ the internet @ElizabethBastos she's on @StoryBleed today: http://bit.ly/dUpMLe

  12. Read this only if you want to smile. #p2 http://is.gd/DTvEVW @ElizabethBastos #woe

  13. RT @TheRiverWanders: Read this only if you want to smile. #p2 http://is.gd/DTvEVW @ElizabethBastos #woe

  14. Romeo and Juliet Live, Have Children, And Bicker About Laundry http://tiny.ly/1cfK

  15. What if Romeo and Juliet had lived, and had kids? http://t.co/M5gCDfDA

  16. Romeo and Juliet by Goody Bastos | Story Bleed Magazine http://t.co/M5gCDfDA via @storybleed

  17. Regarding the laundry, Shakespeare: http://t.co/M5gCDfDA

  18. @TheTLS speaking of amateur Shakespeare, thought you might like this: Romeo and Juliet Live, And Argue About Laundry. http://t.co/M5gCDfDA

  19. Romeo and Juliet Fold The Laundry Story Bleed Magazine http://t.co/M5gy5FCG via @storybleed

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