It Depends on When He Sees Me for the First Time

{By Alexia from Say Another Lexi}

(photo credit)

If he sees me when I am with people, he will think my cheeks must hurt from smiling so much. He will wonder if my fingertips are worn down from touching people all the time. He will see how my eyes are really magnets, gravitating towards anything that glitters. He will know that ever time I throw my head back to laugh, I am really swallowing a falling star. He will see all the different shapes my mouth makes, because it moves even when I am listening. He will see the way I hold my hands on my lips when I think before I speak, as if words will escape without permission. He will see my thoughts splash across my face, emotions striking my face like lightning, one after another. He will see that I can never hide behind my expressions, and he will understand that my readability is a sign of sincerity. He will know that those thoughts are just drops, and that inside me there’s an ocean. He will want to swim in that ocean.

If he sees me when I am alone, drawing hearts falling from trees like leaves, he will think of me as a girl from a sad song. He will wonder why the frown in the middle of my forehead is so deep. He will wonder who hurt me and gave me such hollow autumn eyes. He will think someone broke my heart and he will be jealous of that boy for getting so close. He will wonder what I look like when I smile. He will think of my notebooks as keys, and know that they are filled with words falling from a fountain that goes on forever. He will wish his heart was a musical box that played my favourite song. He will follow my gaze and wonder if I’m really looking at the horizon or something else that he himself cannot see. He will be discreet but he will want me to see him seeing me. He will smile when I scowl  and go back to scribbling. He will know that, one day, we will laugh about this. He will want to see my hair spread across his pillow like an auburn pien-mien, lying with his head between my breasts, sharing secrets we swear we’ve never told anybody else. He will want to be the one to light up my eyes, and the one to catch the glint of tears before they fall. He will see the effort it takes sometimes just to stand up straight and he will know what that feels like, but he will stand up straight, even straighter, sometimes, just to teach me how.

There are some things he will think no matter when he sees me for the first time. He will catch my eyes bounce around the room as I play crosswords with constellations and create love stories about strangers’ kisses and observe how the ceiling looks like grated cheese. He will see that my hands are small, and older than twenty-five, and he will know that they give firm handshakes, and that they are maps to an old soul. He will want to hold them, so I can stop fidgeting, so I know he’s with me, so I won’t run away. He will hold my hand just because he wants to.

Alexia writes to us from Athens.  The original post can be found here.
Subscribe to Say Another Lexi.
Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

Featured by Editorial Director, Jennifer Doyle | @playgroupie

Comments Closed

15 Comments to “It Depends on When He Sees Me for the First Time”

  1. SaraSophia says:

    I’m breathing this beauty.
    I’m glad of love.
    SaraSophia recently posted..when I think of you, I think of strong bright things.

  2. It Depends on When He Sees Me for the First Time

  3. Tara R. says:

    It Depends on When He Sees Me for the First Time

  4. Eleni Zoe says:

    Yes! This is one of my favourites.

  5. Eleni says:

    If you read one thing this week, it's this: It Depends on When He Sees Me for the First Time via @storybleed Plz RT

  6. It Depends on When He Sees Me for the First Time

  7. Alexia says:

    I have been published on the fantastic Story Bleed! Read me, read them, follow them!

  8. It Depends on When He Sees Me for the First Time, introspective and hopeful. From @Alexia_Roux

  9. Alexia says:

    If you haven't read this post at Story Bleed yet, THAT'S OKAY; it's still there. But go already!!

  10. [...] found my blog somehow (the exact trail eludes her) and wanted to do me the honour of featuring It Depends on When He Sees Me for the First Time. Go. Read. Comment. Follow. The whole [...]

  11. Peter

    Like Hope, this is one of my favourites.
    Peter recently update

  12. Bart says:

    I like your view and love the way you write it. I can imagine myself if i’m in front of my crush. hehe.. ^_^
    Bart recently posted..How do i win the lottery?

  13. Carmie says:

    That is he sees you as you expect him to see you as you are. I think he ignores you though, but you keep longing to have his attention. Sad, but mostly of reality. Most people wants to get attention, but the ones they want to get noticed to are ignoring them.
    Carmie recently posted..LPN to RN

  14. Keanna says:

    Just be yourself! I think it’s the safest way to build an impression on first meet. You don’t have to be something that he expects you to be. It’s also one way to test if he really likes you or just making you to impersonate a character that he likes. Don’t let anyone dictate you to be who you are for first impression doesn’t always last. It’s just a matter of whether take it or leave it.
    Keanna recently posted..warts on hands