Stolen Treasure

{by Gailt Breen of These Little Waves}


photo credit: Sean Hubbard/@seanhubbard

I look at him through red rimmed eyes. He wipes my cheek dry with one thumb and asks, Are you happy?

Yes. No. Sometimes.

Yes, when I’m focused.

No, when I falter.

Sometimes.

We sit in the center of our bed like our three children often do. Our room is large but this space in it is small. Our toes touch. Our voices conspire.

He is loving mixed with worry. I am anxious laced with anger.

Anger because he dared scratch beneath the surface of what I want seen. I am faltering.

When I’m focused, I see a straight path to my treasure. The obstacles along the way are simply tasks to complete.

But inevitably, I falter. I falter. It is my own undoing every single time. I steal my own confidence. My own vision. My own focus.

I hide these treasures somewhere deep inside until they are no longer visible. And I replace them with ugliness. Fear. Insecurity. Jealousy.

What makes you happy? He asks, leading me back.

The kids, you, writing. I list my gems one by one, keeping track on my fingers. I try to hide behind my words, but I can’t.

I slump and put my counting hand down. I need a break. He smiles, because this he can fix.

We talk quietly. Share days. Make plans.

I tuck my children into bed again.

I take advantage of a hot shower and soft fleece.

I ignore my multiplying to do list and spend time with a friend.

Wine and laughter soothe my soul. I share my writing goals. They are big and seem far away.

I’m scared to try.

You’ll be great.

When I falter, kind words wash over me without making the tiniest of imprints.

When I’m focused, I open the door, gently unroll each one, and welcome it in. Believe in it and allow it to restore me.

I have a choice to make, a task to complete. Let go of my stolen treasures and continue down this spiral or consciously stop. Refocus. Reclaim what is rightfully mine.

I come home and softly make my way through each sleeping room.

I breathe in the stillness at each stop and place one hand on each rhythmic heartbeat just for a moment. Careful not to wake, ready to summon the goodness back to me.

I tiptoe downstairs and melt into the large green chair. I wrap myself up in the sheer yellow blanket, open my laptop and begin to type.

Each tap of the keys is a claim: These treasures are mine. I see them, and I am taking them back.

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Story Editor: Heather King ::: @HeatheroftheEO

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76 Comments to “Stolen Treasure”

  1. Frelle
    Twitter:
    says:

    this is one of my favorite posts from you, beyond heartwarming and so relatable. glad storybleed spotlighted you!!

  2. The lovely and talented @GalitBreen is featured on @StoryBleed today.She doesn't disappoint :)http://t.co/tp54DFLE

  3. RT @HeatheroftheEO: The lovely and talented @GalitBreen is featured on @StoryBleed today.She doesn't disappoint :)http://t.co/F384qnXa

  4. lyzl says:

    RT @heatheroftheeo: The lovely and talented @GalitBreen is featured on @StoryBleed today.She doesn't disappoint :)http://t.co/qhNKjyEg

  5. Love the writing–both sure footed and gentle in its tone. & I love this lit mag! I didn’t know about it before.
    wendy @ mama one to three recently posted..I Am a Guest: Charitable Works and Ballet Flats

  6. Galit Breen says:

    I'm thrilled to have this post on @StoryBleed today! {Please read} Stolen Treasure http://t.co/y5cVZpQa

  7. Ash
    Twitter:
    says:

    I really need to favorite this one. I loved it the first time. I needed it the second.

    Go, Galit, go!
    Ash recently posted..Oh the places she will go.

  8. One of my favorites by one of my favorites. Congratulations, Galit.
    Mary Lauren @ My3LittleBirds recently posted..Out Cold

  9. @galitbreen Thank YOU. @storybleed is happy to have you and your Stolen Treasure http://t.co/tNpeijxp

  10. Tenny says:

    When I see the picture, I remember my father because he is one of the persons I know who is using this typewriter…
    Tenny recently posted..How to Deal With The Xbox 360 3 Red Ring Problem

  11. Each tap of the keys is a claim to the Stolen Treasure by @Galitbreen http://t.co/uuwdsvEB

  12. Each tap of the keys is a claim to the Stolen Treasure by @Galitbreen http://t.co/uuwdsvEB

  13. Galit Breen says:

    This post is so very close to my heart. {Please read} RT @StoryBleed Stolen Treasure by @Galitbreen http://t.co/9eKWGpZi

  14. hubs says:

    One of my photos was used in @storybleed Magazine. Cool. http://t.co/lNShquGb

  15. [...] writing is on Story Bleed today.” I [...]

  16. I so love this, beautiful, Galit.

  17. Oh! How I adore this post! Your writing is beautiful and heartfelt. You paint an amazingly finite picture of your feelings.

  18. Kimberly
    Twitter:
    says:

    I so love this. It’s beautiful and raw. Amazing as always!
    Kimberly recently posted..Our News

  19. Jessie Powell
    Twitter:
    says:

    While I was switching medications this summer (I’m bipolar) I lost my writing for a little over a month. It just went. I felt this way then. That awful spiral where every effort to focus my mind just sent it off on some other painful tangent. I hated it. Medicine helped. Eventually, I came back. I’m glad that whatever caused you to feel this way, you came back from it, too.
    Jessie Powell recently posted..It’s the Muppet Show

  20. Thrilled, as always, to read your words, Galit. You have a remarkable way of voicing my own fears and dreams. I hope someday to meet you in person, to talk about our kids and writing and life and love and faltering in real time. xo
    Kristen @ Motherese recently posted..Baby Steps

  21. Love reading @galitbreen here – Stolen Treasure | Story Bleed Magazine http://t.co/jJCvabYn via @storybleed

  22. Claudia Simpson says:

    After watching this picture, I remember my father because he is one of the persons I know who is using this typewriter, thanks for sharing, keep up the good work.
    Claudia Simpson recently posted..Forex

  23. Sue Campbell
    Twitter:
    says:

    I get it. I SO get it. Well done.

  24. Sue Campbell
    Twitter:
    says:

    I get it. I SO get it. Well done, Galit.
    Sue Campbell recently posted..Chapped

  25. Check out @GalitBreen's words on focus and faltering at @StoryBleed: Stolen Treasure | Story Bleed Magazine http://t.co/YmKUAvhe

  26. I. Love. This.

    I always feel as if I’m faltering. I always think I need a break. I always hide my fears.
    From everyone. Including myself.

    But the treasures? No one can take them away.
    They’re mine to keep. And give.

  27. Dina
    Twitter:
    says:

    Breathtaking, as always. You have what seems like an excellent partner and friend. Hugs and kisses!
    Dina recently posted..Oh, Christmas Tree

  28. Runnermom-jen
    Twitter:
    says:

    Congrats, Galit!! Such a beautiful and heart wrenching post!

  29. Kristen
    Twitter:
    says:

    I wish that Galit could climb into my head and heart and put all of my emotions and put them into beautifully written words. She amazes me at the feeling behind each and every word she chooses.
    Kristen recently posted..The Holiday Grinches…

  30. jessica
    Twitter:
    says:

    So beautiful Galit and just as amazing to see you here.
    jessica recently posted..Every Little Girl’s Dream

  31. Oh Galit! This is your story, but isn’t it every writer-momma’s story? I want 3 more hours every day. For my own. It sounds selfish, right? But I need to move my brain and my hand. I need to see that I can create something from nothing. Like you do. I’m so glad to have met you. (kind of.) Is it wrong to want more?
    Renee Schuls-Jacobson recently posted..Lessons From Mrs. Gurney: Guest Post by Penny Thoyts

  32. Jessica says:

    A beautiful post Galit and I know how you feel.
    Jessica recently posted..Customize Your WordPress Screen Options and Close Comments

  33. Thanks for the RT, my sweet @GalitBreen. Your post at http://t.co/AlZZ4BlF today has me thinking…still.

  34. jlweinberg says:

    This is really lovely: Stolen Treasure | Story Bleed Magazine http://t.co/6axk1rXa via @storybleed

  35. Ruth says:

    You really have a good talent when it comes to words and making a wonderful post. Your talent is beyond exceptional and that is what I love best.
    Ruth recently posted..Winning Lottery

  36. Katie Hurley says:

    Stolen Treasure | Story Bleed Magazine http://t.co/ROCq9mHc via @storybleed

    • Anil
      Twitter:
      says:

      I am so so SO sorry that you endured that hoibrrle vicious beast and that you never got the help that you rightfully deserved. I can’t even imagine going through something so terrible like PPD without family or with out help. My heart breaks for you my friend.I am so proud of you for posting this.Know that, and heaven forbid, that with scrumplette, if you notice anything different, please, please get help. You don’t have to suffer in silence.Have you taken the risk assessment???Love you honey.Kimberly recently posted..

  37. elissapr says:

    Oh Galit. How you’re writing has evolved. Each word carefully thought out. Phrases that evoke so much emotion. Loved this.

  38. Taya says:

    Excellent prose…. a real joy to read! Thanks for the inspiration, Galit!

    -Taya Anderson
    Taya recently posted..female psychology

  39. I am in awe of you. You are truly gifted.

  40. angela
    Twitter:
    says:

    This is so very beautiful-calming and empowering at the same time. I loved the original and love this more, tonight, when I am feeling the need for this sort of boost. Thank you Galit, always.

  41. I love how she settled in to reclaim the treasure she has within her. Brilliant!
    JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Read.Explore.Learn.- Joey and Jet in Space

  42. Elaine
    Twitter:
    says:

    You greatly illustrate the tug and pull of our lives as women who want to do so many things and love them all fiercely. Your words, as always, are beautiful and ring true. xo
    Elaine recently posted..Half Mary, Here I Come!

  43. Chessa says:

    This is one of the most important things from the past where computers originated..
    Chessa recently posted..Do you know DJ Lance Rock?

  44. Yuliya says:

    Ah yes I understand. Beautifully written Galit, as always.
    Yuliya recently posted..Mini hiatus

  45. Jenny Sophy says:

    It has been an enriching experience reading this post.
    Jenny Sophy recently posted..Is it easy to build an iPhone app?

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