Rocks
{By Brian Sargent from Looky, Daddy!}
A few months ago, Kathryn spent a day collecting rocks. She collected maybe three dozen of them from around our neighborhood and placed them all on our porch. Most were small, only a few were bigger than my fist, but despite the fact that none of them looked in the slightest bit out of the ordinary to me, Kathryn told me she selected each one for a reason. Each one, she said, had something special, some unique quality that set it apart from the rest. So I sat down next to her on the top step of our front porch and she told me about them. She told me about each rock individually, asking me to recognize and confirm the differences that she saw, to affirm the uniqueness of her selections, and in doing so, affirm Kathryn herself. Affirm her uniqueness. It was one of those special moments a dad shares with his daughter if you define special moments by skull-bashing tedium.
Oh my god that girl uses a lot of words. And she just keeps using them and using them.
When Kathryn was younger, it was I who talked to her about everything. I filled our time together with a running monologue of anything I could think of. A lot of it was high-minded and ideological, like what she could be when she grew up or the proper response to handsome princes who might imagine her to be in need of rescuing, but much of it was just stuff I was saying to keep my brain from crusting over with the same dried shell of spit-up to which most of my clothes had already succumbed.
I told her about the water cycle and about social justice. I told her as much as I remembered from my philosophy classes, about Schopenhauer’s delightful pessimism and how the Platonic ideals were crap but they were important crap. I explained crock pots and told her the secret to my brisket dry rub. I told her words and phrases I knew from other languages. I told her there is magic in the world and she didn’t need to look any farther than a bottle of sunscreen for proof of it.
And Kathryn listened. She drooled and listened and filled herself with the words I spoke.
In her, the words multiplied. They grew and begot more words. And then they came out. A hundredfold. Gizmos turned to gremlins, besieging the air, ridding the world of silence.
However lately the words Kathryn’s been using have been hard to hear. These past few months Kathryn’s medicines have been speaking to us through her, and they haven’t been saying nice things. They say things that eight-year-olds shouldn’t say, putting voice to feelings that it’s not fair for eight-year-olds to feel. And it hurts. So now we are starting to pull back on the medicines. We have seen the seizures, we have seen the medicines, and we are choosing the former. It is a grotesque choice.
But
four mornings ago I set a dish containing five pills next to Kathryn’s Bite-Sized Mini-Wheats. Today the dish contained just two. And for the first time in a long while, I did not begin my day feeling like I was making a mistake.
Let the sparks fly.
::
Brian Sargent kept the inspiring, funny, and gorgeously written dad blog, Looky, Daddy!, until August of 2009. He can now be found on Twitter @awrightbrian. Read the original post here.
Story pick by Editor Shannon/Mr Lady
Edited By Jen Playgroupie | February 13th, 2012 | Category: Featured 2, Memoir, Mr Lady, Wednesday 1 | 34 comments
Rocks http://t.co/UY7KwZOA
Rocks http://t.co/UY7KwZOA
This is very inspirational post…Thanks a lot!
Jennicah recently posted..Review of Automated Forex Trading Software
Letting the sparks fly, featuring @awrightbrian via Story Editor @mrlady http://t.co/RjmAOTV6
Letting the sparks fly, featuring @awrightbrian via Story Editor @mrlady http://t.co/RjmAOTV6
It’s really wise to educate our children as parents. Lucky for you that you have a very intelligent child. What level in school is she now?
Nice chit chat with your own kid!
-Kerry
Kerry C. recently posted..how to pick up girls
Twitter: awrightbrian
says:
If I may, I’ll throw in a postscript here to the above post. We did, indeed, cut down on Kathryn’s medicines. And then we raised them again. And then we switched them. And then we raised and lowered the new medicines.
And now, two and a half years later, we’re still at it. Still raising and lowering. Still guessing. Still arguing with doctors and each other.
Because epilepsy does not care. Not even a tiny bit. And the heart-wrenching but oh-so-tidy sentiment I posted above? Turned out epilepsy didn’t care about that either.
Brian recently posted..Eating Crayons, Pooping Rainbows
Twitter: fawnfritzen
says:
I’m sorry to hear that you’re still struggling to control Kathryn’s seizures. Damn epilepsy. Pardon my language.
Fawn recently posted..Past tense
You know it's a damn fine post when you're still thinking about it, 2 1/2 yrs later. Rocks by @awrightbrian @storybleed http://t.co/1SPANwbZ
An old post of mine got picked up by @storybleed today. I've added a typically upbeat postscript in the comments. http://t.co/iJ10jpIc
Nice sharing!!! I really inspire reading your post..Keep on sharing this to us..
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Some one define rock as a strong person who never be afraid in every challenge that he takes… And I can say that I have that kind of personalty which continue in every activities I meet in order to attain the goal of success…
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Such a great post! I can remember when I was a child I used to collect rocks, too.
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When I go to the beach, I always collect rocks especially those that are unique and has different colors…
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Thank you for reminding me about rocks…I have a lot of things in mind when I heard talking about rocks…
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Oh, so sad… Hope your little one will get over this. I hope and pray that your little darling will overcome this traitor epilepsy.
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This is such a wonderful post! I love reading it, it’s so inspiring. Hoping for the best with your child. Be sure you are always at her side.
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When I was a child, I used to collet all the things from the earth. Rocks, leaves, and mud as well:) My mom was very happy about to wash my clothes every ingle day:)
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This reminds me a lot of things from the past…
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I hope you can post some more that will touch for the other time to the hearts of a reader, very valuable inspiring blog…
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Very wonderful post indeed! I really made me remember my past.. I will definitely be back here for more! Thanks for posting..
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This is really a great article to read and i love reading it. You had a very remarkable and inspiring story and you really inspire me. Thanks for sharing this to us and i’m so excited to read more from you.
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I believe that communication skills are best hone by a parent and child conversation. A child can understand and opens her mind if something is relayed to her and gets her interest. You have mentioned about medication, i hope everything is fine now.
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Very inspriational story. Good post , I am glad I read it. Keep up the good work.
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