Originally published at Like I Have Time For This?
One of the biggest traps in homeschooling, if you ask me, is the
constant pressure to Do Things With Other People. Just this morning, in
my email, I finalized plans for friends to come over on Friday
afternoon. As I was finishing that, the phone rang, and it was more
friends asking about getting together for a day trip to a museum soon.
Or, if not that, at least a play date. Or how about the zoo? What are
you doing this weekend? Do you want to check out my co-op? It goes on
and on.
And believe me, I’m not complaining at all. It’s good to have all
these friends. It’s good to get together. But it’s also good to just
not get together sometimes. And for me, being new and still sort of
defensive and insecure about this whole homeschooling thing, I have to
remind myself a lot to Not Always Be Getting Together With People. My
previous post, in which you all were so kind as to reassure me that my
friend was not exactly being friendly, is an excellent case in point. I
could have said no when that woman called and asked if they could stop
by. I should have said no, in fact. We were all tired. I’d spent the
day sorting toys and catching up on laundry. I wasn’t in the mood for
this woman at all to begin with. (Because honestly? That afternoon tea
was only the tip of a very large iceberg. The woman’s got some ISSUES,
is all I’m sayin’.)
But the thing is, I exist on the defensive most of the time. When
people find out we homeschool and start in with the endless questions
on socialization, I want to be armed and ready with a Packed Social
Schedule. It’s ridiculous and exhausting, but it’s hard to stop myself.
And I’m not the only one who does this. Most of the women I know here
are much more busy than I am. They’re stretched thin, and ragged, and
possibly on the edge of burnout. I can see it in their eyes. And
listening to them, I’m learning to simply say No to the endless stream
of activities available to us. But when someone who isn’t a
homeschooler starts asking THOSE QUESTIONS, I’m always quick to tell
them all the millions of things we do all the time, and then having
told people that, I begin to think that I’d better ramp up the social
schedule, just in case those people with absolutely no experience
homeschooling whatsoever are RIGHT and my kids NEED to be surrounded by
other people 24-7.
And the truth is, we need LESS people around. We need some space. We
need at least one day a week where we don’t go anywhere or have people
over. For us, that day is Wednesday. And I guard Wednesdays fiercely.
But maybe, I’m thinking, we need more than just that one day.
(click title for more)
