Posts Tagged ‘ Moms ’

The Every Day Battle

Overcoming adversity

Originally published on I Should Be Folding Laundry

Before reading this, you need to know that in February of this year, Beth, at 20 weeks along in her pregnancy with twin boys, went to the doctor and found that the babies no longer had heartbeats. She shares with us her journey in grief and recovery every day on her blog, and below is a little taste.

Ever since
my life has returned to “normal” I have found myself suppressing my
feelings and not sharing with anyone how I am really feeling. I think
I need to be brave, after all, I am a mother and wife, I’m supposed to
be brave, it’s what we do.

I put my make-up on each morning, I make my bed, I feed my kids, I
smile and try to laugh, but truthfully? I ache. My heart aches, my
body aches. I just can’t seem to figure out why this has happened.
It’s not that I think this type of thing should not have happened to
me, I just have a hard time believing it has happened to me.
I am so sad. But yet, I hide that sadness from others because I don’t
want to make others sad and I even find myself hiding the sadness from
me, somehow, because it never seems like a good time to be sad and it
never, ever seems like a good time to cry. There are places to go and
people to see and who wants to see someone crying? or someone who has
just cried their eyes out pleading for this to all be wrong, pleading
that maybe somehow, those babies are still alive in my belly, living
off of the orange juice and ice cream I loved to feed them.

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Music to a Mother’s Ears … and Soul

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Originally published on SoapboxMom

Have you heard John Mayer play the guitar? Better yet, have you been lucky enough to attend one of his concerts so that you could actually watch him play the guitar? Ahhh, grace in motion.

Before going to his concert this summer, I listened to his music, but didn’t truly appreciate it. I mean, it was nice to have playing in the background, nice to sing along with occasionally, but didn’t exactly make me sit down and breathe it in, you know what I mean?

Then I saw him perform live. Oh. my. goodness…

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Ramblings From the Now-Empty Womb

Blog Nosh Magazine Pregnancy Birth Adoption

Originally published on For Me For Once

Jackson will be two soon. Samantha will be five in January. They are
the brightest parts of my life (along with my husband), and I can’t
remember my life without them. But I CAN, and do, remember being
pregnant with both of them. The time that I carried each of them was
sweet, fun, exciting, depressing, painful, overwhelming, scary,
life-changing and meaningful, all at once. Some days I look back on my
pregnancies with each of them and think “Dear God, how did I do that
twice?” and at other moments I wonder why everyone doesn’t have twelve.
For some reason I’m thinking a lot lately about being pregnant, or
rather NOT being pregnant, and how I feel about that, and I’ll tell you
why. (NO, it’s not because I am pregnant, so you can leave that thought
by the side of the road. Seriously. No seriously, knock it off – I am
NOT pregnant again. Fine, whatever. Think what you want.)

Here’s
why. Right now, Jackson is the age that Samantha was when we conceived
him. Just a couple of months before she turned two, we decided it might
be nice to give her a sibling fairly soon. I had always wanted my kids
to be two to three years apart, and I’m not even sure why. Part of me
wanted one child to be at least close to being out of diapers before
the next came along. Part of me wanted one who could at least bring me
a diaper for the other, if not actually change it. For some reason it
all seemed to center around diapers. That’s kind of jacked up, now that
I think about it. Hmm. Surely there must have been other reasons.

Whatever.
Regardless, we wanted them two to three years apart. And by “we” I mean
“me-and-Greg-who-showed-up-when-I-asked-him-to-with-sperm-at-the-ready”.

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Learning to Accept My Autistic Son

Overcoming adversity

Originally published on Mother of Confusion

My son was born after midnight during the cooler days of May, before the Central Valley could blaze triple-digit temperatures.

The delivery room was packed full of people. The doctor, several
nurses, my husband, my parents and my mother-in-law were in attendance.
As my son emerged into the world, I expected him to gasp and then cry
about the abrupt ejection.

He did not.

Instead he was quiet and blue. The umbilical cord was wrapped around
his slender neck several times. Of course I didn’t know that yet, but
the jubilant faces of the others gave way to peaked, pinched
expressions.

When I asked what was wrong. The response was, “Nothing. Everything’s okay. It’s okay.”

The reassurances scared me. I was only 20-years-old, but already I knew people lied when things were really, really wrong.

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The Very Strange Day of Miranda P. Stick

Blog Nosh Magazine Pregnancy Birth Adoption

Originally published on Anne Nahm

Dear Diary,

I could tell the moment I woke up: Today was going to be a day like
no other. The sun was shining and birds were chirping. I knew because
guess what? My wrapping was open! I don’t think that’s ever happened
before.

pregnancy test puppet annenahm

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